Marcus Aurelius and the Morning Brew: Meditations on Caffeine Dependency
By Stoic Grounds
Historians often overlook the real reason Marcus Aurelius became one of the greatest Stoic philosophers of all time: crippling caffeine dependency.
Picture him, hunched over a desk in his emperor pajamas, furiously scribbling in his journal around 4:00 a.m., whispering to himself:
"You have power over your mind—not over the fact that someone used the last of the beans and didn’t write it on the grocery list, CASSIUS."
Yes, Meditations might sound profound now, but I guarantee at least 60% of it was written under the influence of something with a roast profile darker than the inside of a collapsed star.
If Marcus had access to a Chemex, we’d be reading passages like:
“When you are annoyed by others, remember they too were once babies…
who probably grew up to make French press with lukewarm water like total psychopaths.”
Fast-forward to the modern world, where coffee is no longer a drink but a spiritual performance art. Gone are the days of casually tossing a spoonful of grounds into a drip machine. Oh no. Today’s coffee rituals involve burr grinders, goose-neck kettles, and a prayer to the artisanal bean gods while aligning your chakras to the water temperature. If Marcus saw us now, he’d assume we were trying to summon Mercury. . .the god, not the planet.
But here’s the thing: Stoicism and coffee go together like Seneca and debt (Google it).
The Stoics believed in something called the dichotomy of control, which basically means:
- Some things are up to you.
- Other things are not.
- Your spouse drinking the last cup and “forgetting” to mention it is definitely in category #2.
In Stoic terms, you should not get upset about things outside your control, such as burnt coffee, delayed Ubers, or baristas spelling your name “Mucus Orifice” (It’s Marcus Aurelius for the 100th time!). You should instead respond with calm, rational thought—or at least not throw the compostable straw dispenser across the café.
Marcus would tell you:
“Rise each morning with gratitude, face hardship with grace, and for Jupiter’s sake, don’t talk to anyone until you’ve had at least three sips of strong, beard-tingling, java.”
Caffeine dependency isn’t un-Stoic. Being controlled by it is. So go ahead, drink your brew, but remember: you are more than your Italian roast. You are a rational being with dignity, poise, and a loyalty punch card that’s only one latte away from a free one.
At Stoic Grounds, we believe life is chaos. But your coffee doesn’t have to be. We’re here to give you ancient wisdom, modern calm, and beans strong enough to make even Epictetus flinch.
Because a philosophy for life is important.
But a philosophy with coffee?
That’s how you achieve inner peace... and also function before noon.